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"It takes time to discover your feelings, for him to discover his, to build an emotional bond, and to see he's consistently trustworthy, reliable, kind, emotionally available and sensitive to your needs." If a guy obviously isn't? Think about what didn't work in terms of fostering personal and relationship growth. Get specific about the choices you made and what might need to change.
But you've probably been there and done that with the bar and going-out scene, and might not have many opportunities in your current job—where you spend the majority of your waking hours.CEO of a successful start-up, with your young-adult novel trilogy being turned into movies by your 35th birthday? It's great to, well, lean in—but many thirty-something women will admit that time seems to rapidly accelerate when in your 30s.So while you should keep those sky-high goals close to your heart, you also have to hold yourself accountable for not missing out on something else you really want—like marriage and kids.That means your best bet is to maximize the most highly-datable options in the least amount of time, says Steinberg.The best way to do this is to approach this part of your life with as much intention and effort as you would, say, your friendships or career.